My Name Is Loz
by viicious
Summary: Loz talks about his name.


_Don't usually write Loz, so I tried._

* * *

My name is Loz. Yeah, I know, kinda weird, eh? You don't say it like the "loz" in "lozenge". Just say "rose", but instead of an "r" make it an "l". Now that that's covered, I hate my name. Tell you why. Because no one can pronounce it on the first try, whether they hear it _or_ read it. Don't believe me? Bet you couldn't the first time you read it.

Nickname? Nah, that's not my style. I know Kadaj and Yazoo have some nickname thing going on. That's just a way to hide yourself. Me? My name is Loz, end of story. You won't find me hiding behind some coy hairstyle or faade. Kadaj hates liars, but he's a big trickster. Yazoo and me? We just like to play.

Yazoo and I are pretty close. We sometimes eat out at this pygmy daisy field he likes. Sound fruity, having a picnic in the middle of a flowery field like we're pretty incestual. I don't care. People like to talk, make up stories. But sometimes we have to get away from Kadaj. His personality is sharp like a razor blade, and we get cut sometimes if the blade isn't happy. He's just like Mother; go figure.

They like to say I'm the baby of the group. They don't know me. I'm not real sensitive, or anything. But my anger overpowers me if someone insults Mother, to the point where I just cry about it. You can say what you like. I love Mother with my whole soul. Can you say that? With honesty? Would you give your life for your mother? Would you defend her if someone insulted her? I would. I do. Yazoo understands this pretty well. Kadaj rolls his eyes sometimes. But who do you know that gives you everything you need like love and strength and belief in your abilities? My mother does; does yours?

Which is why I get more upset than pissed. Take this one kid, for example. In the Forgotten Forest, Brother's friend's kid... Well, Marlene. Marlene and I had a chat. For a kid, she's pretty intelligent. Anyway, it went something like this.

Kadaj talked a little about one of our fears of disappearing once Sephiroth arose. When he left, probably to tango with Brother or help Yazoo abduct kids, Marlene, quiet the whole time, just randomly spoke.

"Please let me go."

"I can't," I told her.

"Why?" She looked sad for some reason.

"You're leverage," I told her, and that shut her up for a few minutes.

After a while, she started up again.

"You're a bad man," she said in a matter-of-fact way.

"I'm not bad," I said, "Just misunderstood."

"Is your mom bad, too?"

I caught my breath here. I wondered how much she had heard and whether we should shut up around her or not.

"Mother's not bad!" I spat at her.

"Are you doing this for her?" she astutely asked me, "'Cause if you are, then she's bad!"

Here, I felt like punching the little brat. But instead, I choked. My eyes filled with tears and I looked at her little baby face.

"How could you say that!?" I asked her foolishly, "You're not even ten!"

Long story short, she had to tell me a joke to get me to stop. But it's not because I'm a baby; I just get way too worked up to let my emotions flow. No, really. I just lock up with anger, then my intense frustration turns into offence. Then it's too late to reprimand it I just get sad.

After she started being all quiet again, I thought about it. How much pain were we causing? I know what Mother and Sephiroth did in the past; if someone did that to us, I'd be pretty stressed too. But I guess I don't really care because Mother loves us and wants us to do this for her. I love her to death, so I'll commit the Reunion if she asks us.

Yeah, we have a bunch of enemies. But apathy plays a big part in our existence. Do we care about the Planet's offence? Not really. Do we care about hurting it and the life on it to get what we want? Nope. Do I care if I have gum on my shoe? Probably not. Okay, well, maybe a little... That stuff is a bitch to get off.

My point being, why care if someone loves you enough that everything you do for her is rewarded? Got kids? You should know how this system works. So it doesn't really matter what Marlene says, even if it offends me. In the end, I'll get to see her little baby face without life, so her words pass through me.

Because my name is Loz, and I love Mother.


End file.
